I’ve been working with a large number of people who are very often exhausted, not just from sleep problems but from their daily activities.
A lot of us are drained by being around other people, doing video meetings, going out in public … and so we start to avoid those activities to preserve our energy.
Setting boundaries and giving ourselves space to rest is absolutely an important thing to do. But too much of these kinds of self-restrictions over time can result in us not being able to interact with people, increasing our isolation and loneliness, which only drains us more.
Here’s an email from a reader the other day:
As a person struggling with burnout symptoms, I find it hard to resonate with the idea of antifragility and pushing your boundaries.
That because the first step towards moving away from burnout symptoms is acknowledging your boundaries and NOT crossing over them to depletion.
However, I am in this state of depletion for over 2 years now and it seems that trying to hold on to my boundaries has lead to my boundaries getting closer and closer to nothingness. I can put up with less stress and excitement. I am getting weak and fragile instead of stronger.
I would like to break this circle and slowly build some stamina.
Where can I start?
We start with boundaries and creating time for self-care, rest, and replenishment.
But we can also practice being more relaxed and less drained by our lives — through a practice of relaxing our “Threat Detector.”
Let’s talk about the Threat Detector and how it works, before we talk about the practice of relaxing it.